


Least Loved

by Fishpaste



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Feeling Unwanted, Gen, Tumblr Prompt, foster family AU, runaway Logan, the unfavourite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:36:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23006575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fishpaste/pseuds/Fishpaste
Summary: Logan who on his seventeenth birthday, decided that he’d run away just to take his burden off of Thomas shoulders since he liked the others the best.And Logan…Who didn’t realize just how worried Thomas was when he realized that one of his kids were gone.
Comments: 179
Kudos: 340





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a prompt on sidespromptblog from tumblr. Thank you so much for the inspiration!

Don’t get him wrong, Logan was well aware of how lucky he was. He’d been ten years old when they’d ended up in the foster system, old enough to be aware of how it worked, and of the possibilities of being separated from his siblings, or languishing in a succession of uncaring homes until he aged out of the system. Instead Thomas had come in after nearly a year, determined to take them all in, Patton had been eight, the twins had been seven, Dee was five and Virgil had been only three years old.

Thomas had been a father to all of them, helping with homework, coming to school plays and parents evenings, nursing them through illnesses and supporting them in every way. It hadn’t taken longer than a year before Patton, Roman and Remus were calling him ‘dad’ and of course the youngest two couldn’t really remember another parent. He’d never pushed for Logan to call him dad though, accepting Logan’s hesitancy about using such an important title.

Maybe that had been the beginning of the problem though, the seventeen year old thought, chin propped on his fist as he stared unseeingly at the homework spread across the kitchen table. In the other room he could hear Thomas and his brothers laughing at a Disney movie Roman had begged to watch for their movie night. They were all laughing and commenting, he could smell buttered popcorn and hear the strains of music from the TV. He’d excused himself before the film had started, muttering something about homework. No one had seemed surprised…or bothered. Logan had tried not to let it bother him, they were just respecting his studying, he told himself firmly. His eyes slid to the side almost without conscious control though, landing on Dee’s maths homework that Thomas had been helping him with, Remus’ hand drawn cartoons he’d been excitedly showing his father, Virgil’s chunky headphones on the side, a present from Thomas on his ninth birthday. He was surrounded by evidence of how close Thomas was to all his siblings, evidence of how much they all loved each other.

He knew Thomas loved him. He _knew_ that. He just…he wasn’t sure if Thomas actually _liked_ him. His brothers didn’t seem to like him much, he’d heard their complaints a million times. ‘Logan just shut up’, ‘you’re no fun’, ‘stop being so serious all the time’, ‘no one wants to hear it Lo’. He found it difficult to connect with people the way roman and Patton did, and didn’t have the self confidence to be himself regardless of other’s opinions the way Dee and Remus did, and he didn’t seem able to seek reassurance like Virgil did when he was hurting. Shaking his head and biting his lip he forced himself to focus back on his chemistry essay, this was important, he needed to focus, exams were coming up soon, he had his eye on several prestigious universities, he needed to study. So why was his brain spinning in circles and his heart feeling like there was a tight band around his chest, suffocating him? Why couldn’t he just push this gnawing fear away?

He felt….unnecessary. He thought, tapping his pen against the paper. They were all in the other room, all having fun, connecting, being a family; with Logan out in the cold, a wall between him and them that he didn’t know how to break down and they didn’t seem to care to. After their mother’s death he’d become the protector of the family, he’d been the one that had soothed Virgil after nightmares, had listened to Roman’s convoluted stories and reassured Dee when he had trouble with the other kids in the Home. Now…they had someone else to do that for them, and somebody who must be doing a better job too, because he wasn’t boring and dull and actually knew how to make them all happy. Logan wasn’t needed any more, and really, they’d all probably be better off without him there anyway, right?

He’d seen the way everyone’s spirits seemed to drop when he was around, seen the way they were all happier when he wasn’t there…and it wasn’t fair! He didn’t know what he was doing wrong! He’d tried talking more, and Roman had whined at him for being boring and nerdy, he’d tried joining talking to Thomas without the others there and Virgil had complained that Logan was taking up too much of Thomas’ time, he’d tried updating his knowledge with modern slang to connect with the others, but Patton had laughed at his efforts, finding them funny rather than a genuine attempt to get closer to the younger children.

Loneliness tugged at him, why was he always alone, why couldn’t he fit into their perfect little family? He was the odd piece out, the one who didn’t mesh, the unneeded, unnecessary and unwanted part. Maybe they would be better off without him…Thomas would probably be happy to have just children who could call him dad and play and chat with him all the time, Patton would love being the oldest child, the twins wouldn’t even notice most likely, probably just pleased to no longer be lectured about science and homework over dinner…Dee and Virgil would be happy enough, with enough older brothers to care about them, they didn’t need him.

Would Thomas miss him? Probably not. Recently even Thomas had started seeming annoyed at Logan, not really paying attention when he spoke, not asking about his studies and cutting off conversations short to spend time with the other children. He was always so happy when he was playing with Dee or helping Remus and Roman prepare for their next performance or trading puns with Patton or even discussing music with Virgil. He always made time for them, went to every play, took them out to the park or to the zoo, movie night every week. Thinking back on it…it had been a long time since Thomas had come to the museum with him…or taken him to the library or bookstore.

Logan bit his lip again, glancing up at the door…he shouldn’t be so hasty…maybe he was just being dramatic? He nodded to himself, he shouldn’t jump to conclusions, he would test out his hypothesis. He would go and join them for the movie, see how they reacted. They’d probably be happy to see him joining them, right? Welcome him in and smile? He left his essay where it was and pushed himself up from the table, walking towards the cheerful chatter and music he could hear. Pushing the door open he was greeted with the sight of Thomas, sprawled out on the sofa, one arm around Remus and Dee almost on his lap, laughing and looking happy. Patton and Roman were singing along to Moana and Virgil was curled up in his favourite chair, a small happy smile just visible on his face. The sight was so warm and homely and happy Logan felt a rush of hope and happiness. Thomas looked up as the door open and immediately reached for the remote, pausing the movie. Roman and Patton paused mid song and turned, frowning at Logan. His heart dropped a little.

“Logan? Are you looking for something?” Thomas asked.

“Uh, no…I just…thought I might come and join you?” Logan replied, unaccountably nervous.

“What, to watch Moana?” Roman said, disbelief evident in his voice. “You’re _joking!”_

“Logan never jokes Ro.” Remus added, sticking his tongue out at his twin.

“Yeah, his sense of humour fled in self defence years ago.” Virgil said, smirking and causing Patton to grin.

“Now boys, Logan can join us if he wants.” Thomas said, though he looked rather confused himself. Logan sat down on the free end of the sofa, feeling awkward already as Dee budged up, leaving a huge gap between Logan and himself. Thomas restarted the movie and Logan turned his attention to the television, trying to watch the characters and follow along with the plot, but he could barely focus. Patton and Roman had stopped singing and were whispering to each other, probably about him he thought. The whole atmosphere had changed now, where once had been cheerful enjoyment, now a palpable sense of awkwardness hung over everything. Logan could practically feel the resentment roiling off his siblings for him coming and disturbing them all. Even Thomas seemed ill at ease, Logan saw him opening his mouth a couple of times to say something and then change his mind and lapse back into silence again.

After about ten minutes of this, feeling more and more uncomfortable every second he was there Logan decided he couldn’t take it anymore. He clearly wasn’t wanted here. Murmuring some excuse he stood up again, swiftly making his way back out of the living room, away from them all. As the door swung behind him he heard Roman pipe up.   
“Aaand he’s gone. Knew Logan didn’t have the capability of watching a Disney flick. He’s probably freaked out by the lack of science lectures in it or something.”

“Roman…” Thomas said and Logan paused, waiting to hear how Thomas would defend him. But he didn’t say anything else and a moment later normal conversation in the room resumed as though it had never been interrupted by his presence.

Logan’s breath hitched and he squeezed his eyes shut against a sudden burn of heat behind his eyelids. He would not cry. He was seventeen for god’s sake; he should be able to cope with this! It wasn’t that big a deal, it really wasn’t, it was just…confirmation of his hypothesis. They really were better off without him…Thomas preferred the younger siblings to him, and they were so much better without him to get in the way of their perfect little family.

His backpack was upstairs, it didn’t take long to shove clothes in, a notebook, his id and all the cash he had on hand. It would be enough for a few nights in a cheap hotel, he’d figure something out after that. Maybe Remy would let him stay on the sofa for a bit? He could get a job…get a scholarship for college…he was smart, he’d be fine. They’d be happy without him, get to be a proper family. He shouldered the bag and turned to leave, before darting back and grabbing a framed photo of the seven of them, taken a year ago on Patton’s birthday. They were all so happy and laughing, chocolate cake in front of everyone and all wearing silly party hats that Patton had insisted on. He would take this one piece of his family with him, one thing to remember them all by.


	2. Chapter 2

The world was saved again, the credits were rolling and Thomas was at peace. He yawned and stretched, dislodging Dee who was already bickering cheerfully with Virgil about whether Hei Hei was a needed humorous addition or just an annoying unfunny joke. Roman and Patton had launched into another rendition of ‘You’re Welcome’ and Remus was busy licking out the last scraps from the popcorn bowl. Literally licking too, his entire head was inside the bowl. Shaking his head in exasperation Thomas reached over to dislodge the bowl before it could become stuck.

“Right! Pyjamas, teeth and ready for bed!” He said firmly. Virge and Dee were up way past their bedtime, why did he always fall for their pleading looks? Every single time…little monsters. He corralled the older ones into helping get their brothers upstairs and sorted ready for bed. Dee claimed to be too old for a story now, but Thomas knew he secretly listened outside the door as he read Virgil the next chapter of his book. The house settled down into its quiet night time routine, children gradually making their ways to bed, calling out goodnights and see you tomorrow; Patton half running down the corridor to fling his arms around Thomas in a quick hug.

“Night dad!”

“Night Patton Cake,”

“Can we watch Tangled tomorrow?”

“Sure Roman, as long as you eat up all your veg.”

“Awww, daaaaaad!”

“No buts, broccoli will not poison you.”

“Are you sure.”

“One hundred percent. I checked with Logan.”

“Boo. Alright. Deal.”

Remus came tearing down the stairs, toothpaste foam dripping from his mouth.

“Dad! Can we get a bat! I want to get rabies!”

“Uh…”

“Bats are cute!”

“No, we can’t get a bat, I’m pretty sure they’re a protected species…”

“Awww, please?”

“Fraid not buddy. How about a plush one instead?”

This seemed somewhat acceptable and Thomas managed to herd the twins up to bed, followed by Patton who was carefully carrying his obligatory mug if hot chocolate to his room. Thomas gave them a fond smile, he loved his large loud crazy family. They were all such distinct personalities, all so bright and happy and loving. He was so lucky to have them all and to have been able to fill up his empty home with all this noise and light and enthusiasm.

Moving to the kitchen, he noticed Logan’s homework still spread out over the table, neat colour coded notebooks and supplies tidies neatly to the side. It wasn’t like his eldest to leave his work out, Logan was usually very considerate about tidying up after himself and not encroaching on others space. Thomas began to gather the scattered papers together, frowning a little as he thought back on earlier this evening. Logan had been so very busy recently, caught up in his schoolwork and spending a lot of time in his room. Thomas tried to give him his space, he was growing up after all, he needed to have the chance to figure himself out, have his own privacy and time away. But Thomas missed him sometimes, missed the long interesting discussions about everything, Logan could absorb facts and remember them like no one else. He missed his dry sarcasm when they were watching films, missed his steady quiet presence when they were all busy and companionable in the same room.

Heaving a quiet sigh Thomas told himself firmly to stop being selfish, he had to let Logan grow up sometime. He’d been so pleased when he’d come in and joined them with the film, though Logan had seemed a bit uncomfortable and had left before too long. That made him a bit sad, the thought that Logan didn’t feel as though he could just drop in and join them any more. Next time he’d make sure Logan was there from the beginning. Yeah, he’d do a real proper movie night where they all sat down and watched a movie together, one of Logan’s old favourites too. Decided on a course of action he picked up all the papers and headed upstairs to Logan’s room, looking forward to a talk, however short with his oldest, rather too serious son.

“Logan?” 

The door was ajar slightly and Thomas knocked again. The light was off, which was strange, it wasn’t that late, surely Logan hadn’t gone to bed already? Maybe he wasn’t feeling well? Slightly concerned now Thomas pushed the door open fully, using the light from the hall to look within. Logan’s room was as neat and tidy as always, bookshelves stacked with books, a large desk, a neatly made bed and painstakingly accurate constellations painted over the walls and ceiling in glow in the dark paint. But no tall dark haired teenager frowning over his books or curled up in sleep. A cold sinking feeling assailed Thomas, even as he walked quickly to the bathroom, confirming that was empty too.

“Logan?”

No one in the living room, or the study. The garden was empty and dark. Thomas’s throat was feeling tight now, even as he forced himself to calmness and carried on checking. Dee and Virgil were asleep, no logan checking on them. Remus and Roman looked up guiltily from the comic they were drawing together when he opened their door, but he didn’t have time to scold them for not being in bed, just checked Logan hadn’t come in and went straight back out, ignoring the confused questions from the twins. He wasn’t in Patton’s room either. Last room, Thomas shoved open his own door, heart thudding. No Logan in there either.

“Lo?”

Okay, don’t panic, don’t panic…too late he was panicking. He almost ran back downstairs, grabbing his cell phone. He held the phone up to his ear. It rang once…twice…three times…and the voicemail. Thomas swore. His fingers briefly hovered over the number nine, but not just yet. He’d try Logan’s friends first. He tried everyone he could think of, every family friend, old acquaintance, Logan’s friends from school…absolutely everyone.

“Logan…”

Where was he? What was going on? Thomas clenched his fists, his pulse thudding. The fear was now a tight vise around his chest, making it almost impossible to breathe. Where was his son? He tried his cell again, straight to voicemail.

“Logan? Where are you? I’m not mad, I promise, can you just call me? Let me know you’re alright?”

“Logan? Please call me…I need to know you’re safe.”

“Logan call me. I’m worried about you. Just call me.”

“Logan please…” 

No answer, no answer, no answer.

He could be anywhere! He could be hurt, someone could have taken him, what if he’d run away and got lost or kidnapped or injured somewhere! Sinking into a chair and cradling his head in his hands Thomas tried to prevent the rising tide of panic from taking over. Maybe he’d just gone to a friend’s…one he hadn’t told Thomas about…and just didn’t want to answer his phone? He would be fine, he must be…but where was he?

_“Logan…”_


	3. Chapter 3

It was a warm night, clear and with the stars shining up above. Logan found himself smiling with a sudden thrilling sense of excitement and adventure. It had been so long since he’d broken from his routine, and the clandestine nature of his current excursion simply made it all the better.

His bag was light on his back, he was warm, full of energy, he felt like he could walk forever! Maybe he’d become a wanderer, just walk around the country seeing all the new sights and learning everything the world had to offer! He’d sneak onto trains and hitchhike and earn money wherever he could find work. Shaking his head he firmly told himself to calm down, being homeless wasn’t one of Roman’s stories where everything always worked out for the hero. But it still felt free, to wander down the silent streets entirely as he chose, he could go wherever he wanted, didn’t have a curfew or a time limit, didn’t have to consider where anyone else wanted to go.

A cat chirped at him curiously from the top of a fence and he paused to greet it. It purred happily, butting its head against his hands. Logan smiled, this was definitely the right decision.

Should he go to Remy’s? He would definitely have a bed there, and Joan would be willing to put him up for as long as he needed as well…but Thomas would look for him there first of all, and would probably drag him back home to be the quiet obedient good child who never needed attention or time or anything. He scowled and started walking again. Not going to happen. Well, he wasn’t cruel, he wouldn’t let them worry forever, he’d write a letter or something once he’d found a place to stay. Remy, Joan, Talyn…they were all off the list of options. His phone buzzed at him and he pulled it out his pocket.

Thomas’ name flashed up on screen and Logan hesitated for a moment. He hadn’t expected that Thomas would notice him gone this soon, he’d only been walking forty minutes or so. Something in his chest thumped painfully at the ringing phone, he wasn’t sure if it was fear, apprehension, delight or anger. Maybe some confusing mixture of all of them? His finger hovered over the accept call button and then he shook his head, shoving the cell back into his jeans almost angrily. He’d made his choice, he wasn’t going to let anyone sway him now.

***

Thomas held off as long as possible. Fingers drumming on the table, eyes fixed on the clock. He’d tried Logan’s phone dozens of times, had phoned all their friends and acquaintances and anyone else he could think of who Logan might have gone to visit. He’d checked through the calendar in case there had been some event or meeting on that he had somehow missed, he’d torn through Logan’s room looking for a note or an explanation or anything that could tell him where his son had gone.

And now he was left sitting at the kitchen table, his phone in front of him, trying to push away the rising fear and panic that threatened to engulf him. He was desperately trying to think if anything could have caused Logan to just up and vanish…had there been any warning signs? Something he had missed, something he could have done better to stop this.

He wasn’t sure which idea terrified him more, the idea that Logan had run off, had been so unhappy and miserable he’d run away without a word, and Thomas had somehow missed all his cries for help; or the idea that someone had somehow managed to break in and take his son. He groaned aloud and dropped his head into his hands. 

“Dad?” Thomas looked up, to see Patton standing uncertainly in the kitchen doorway, wearing his cat onesie and watching him. “Dad what’s wrong?”

“Patton, you should be in bed…”

“You seemed upset earlier; and you still look upset now. Want to talk about it? I can make hot chocolate?”

Thomas hesitated, this was not a burden he wanted to place on any of his son’s shoulders, but at the same time he could hardly hide what was going on. Patton took his hesitation as approval and almost bounced into the room, setting milk on to boil and fetching out marshmallows. He had always been the most empathetic child, always wanting to do everything he possibly could to make everyone around him happy.

The hot chocolate was done and Patton sat down across from his father, looking at him expectantly.

“This is something I should probably sort out on my own kiddo.” Thomas hedged, sipping at the expertly made drink.

“So there is something wrong?”

“Yes…but it’s my responsibility as the adult, you shouldn’t be worrying about things like this, you’re supposed to be focussed on your schoolwork and your own interests.”

“I’m not a little kid any more. I just want everyone to be happy. Including you, dad.”

“You’re a good kid.” Thomas smiled, reaching across the table and ruffling Patton’s hair, still messy from bed. Patton beamed back at him but immediately switched back to being more serious, he could tell his dad was legitimately worried and he earnestly wanted to help in any way he could.

“Dad, I’m fifteen, I want to help.”

“I know Patton…”

“Come on then, putton it on Patton!” He grinned and Thomas managed a smile in response, despite the stab in his heart as he imagined how Logan would have reacted to the bad pun.

“It’s Logan.” Thomas said simply and Patton’s smile vanished.

“What’s wrong?”

“He’s not in his room, I think he must have run away.”

“What?!”

Thomas grimaced, and now he had managed to upset Patton.

“I need you to be brave now Patton, the younger ones are going to be very upset.” Thomas said gently. “I just need to know, did Logan say anything to you about being unhappy?”

“No!” Patton cried, and then hesitated, “Well…he might have seemed a bit quiet…but not like he was unhappy or anything…” He bit his lip, obviously desperately thinking back over every interaction he’d recently had with his older brother.

“And you can’t think of where he might be? I’ve phoned all his friends I can think of, and anyone else he might have gone to.” Admitting it, admitting that he’d tried as many avenues to find Logan as he could reawakened the twisting gnawing fear in his chest. He took a deep breath.

“I think it’s time I called the police.”

***

Logan wandered deeper and deeper through the maze of streets. It was still warm and quiet, but he was beginning to get tired now, he should have been in bed a while ago. It was still an adventure, but the thought that he should probably choose somewhere to rest soon occurred to him. He should be far away enough from the house now right? He could start looking for a motel…or a cheap hotel or something?

There didn’t seem to be any likely places nearby though…actually, now that he was looking around more and paying attention to his surroundings, he became aware he wasn’t in the best of neighbourhoods. Nor was it as quiet and peaceful as before. There were occasional people around, a homeless man sprawled out in a doorway, trash scattered around, he could hear thudding music from somewhere nearby.

Nervousness rose up in Logan, he felt very out of place here, and he was getting odd looks from the other passer bys on the street, apparently he looked as out of place as he felt. Pulling his hood up he hunched his shoulders and increased his pace, hoping to find his way out of here and someplace safer. A sick feeling crept within him as he noticed what seemed to be someone following him. Not good, not good, not good.

He turned down a random street, biting his lip and suddenly regretting every decision he’d made tonight. Why hadn’t he made more of a plan, had a certain destination! Maybe he could call an Uber? But he didn’t want to pull his phone out, not here of all places. There were still footsteps behind him, he risked a glance and saw a heavy set brutish figure behind him. He jinked away down another street and walked straight into someone. Stumbling back he hastily muttered an apology and tried to leave when a grimy hand gripped the front of his jacket. Logan’s heart rate shot through the roof as he stared up at the thin, unwashed face of a man in his late thirties, with yellow teeth leering at him.

“’ullo young’un. You look a bit lost don’tcha?” He grinned, and was answered by a couple of other men, stepping out of the shadows to loom over the seventeen year old.


	4. Chapter 4

Logan forced himself to remember to breathe, passing out from lack of oxygen would not be in his best interests at this moment. The panic was a tight, almost painful, band through his chest; suffocating him with the fear and worry about what was going to happen to him. He stepped backwards, up against the rough brick wall, raising his hands defensively. The three men followed his movement, surrounding him on all sides.

The fear made it hard to think but he did his best to look at and remember the faces of the men around him, just in case it became important later. Three men, unshaven and dressed in ratty clothing. They must have been in their late twenties to mid thirties and they were all thin, as though they’d never had enough to eat. That was compounded by the feral hungry look in their eyes as they circled the teenager. One had a battered leather jacket, one had glasses and one had a ratty ponytail that almost seemed to drip with grease. Leather Jacket was the one who was speaking most, and the one standing right in front of Logan, grinning at him. His breath stank, Logan noticed. It hardly seemed important right now, but the smell of deep fried onion seemed to pervade the entire street.

“I’m just…passing through.” He managed to choke out.

“Passing through?” Ponytail laughed. “Jus’ thought you’d take a shortcut through here?”

“Um…”

“Nah, I reckon he’s come to check out the beee-yoot-ifful real estate round here. Gonna buy a home here mate?”

“P’raps he’s out looking for a special lady friend.” Glasses sniggered.

“No! I’m just, just, um…”

“Can’t even speak up can he? What’s wrong, you scared kid?”

“Baby brats don’t belong here. We should show him why it’s far past ‘is bedtime!”

“No mummy out here to tuck you into bed.”

“Does he need a teddy bear?”

“I don’t want trouble.” Logan managed to say, his voice cracking a little.

“Then you came to the wrong neighbourhood mate.”

“You just figured you’d take a stroll down ‘ere and not find trouble? Dream on!” Glasses laughed, punching Leather Jacket in the shoulder. The three men seemed to be far too amused at Logan’s obvious nervousness with the whole situation. He wished he was back home, or that he wasn’t alone. Thomas would send them off with a glib remark and complete confidence. Logan knew the confidence was just an act most of the time, that Thomas got just as scared and worried and lost as anyone else did, but it was an act he just couldn’t seem to summon up for himself right now.

“Maybe there’s a clue in here?” Leather Jacket suggested, reaching forward so quickly that Logan flinched, hard enough to smack the back of his head against the wall. Then Leather Jacket had a grip on his backpack, dragging it off the teenager.

“Hey wait! No, that’s mine!” Logan shouted, trying to grab the one thing he currently owned, but Ponytail shoved him back easily. “Give it _back!”_

“Let’s see…” Leather Jacket began rummaging through the contents, easily finding the small wad of cash and tossing it to Glasses, who pocketed it. Logan bit his lip, that was all his savings, he needed that. But maybe they’d be happy with it and then they’d leave him alone? Leather Jacket ignored the clothes mostly, letting a few fall to the dirty street. And then he pulled out the framed photo and Logan felt his heart sink right down to his boots.

“What’s this? Your family kid?”

“Lemme see!”

“Running away from a sweet family like this are you kid? Now that’s just not nice.” Glasses laughed, holding the picture up to the drab orange light. “Looks like someone doesn’t know when he’s got it good.”

_“Give it back!”_

“Why? S’not like you value them much do you kid? Not if you’re running away. Awww, they must be nothing to you. Nothing but…trash.” With the final word he dropped the framed picture to the floor. Logan watched in horror as the glass cracked and the frame twisted. That…that was his family photo, the one reminder of them he’d been going to take, it was his favourite photo of them all! Then, before he’d even finished processing the damage already done to his most treasured possession, Ponytail had lifted a foot and stamped hard on the image. His boots were large and muddy, and the picture shattered beneath them, the glass crunching and the paper tearing as Ponytail ground it into the street. 

Everything seemed to freeze as Logan stared at the ruined picture, his heart thudding so loudly in his ears he didn’t even hear the men laughing and mocking him. He crouched down, moving in what felt like slow motion, eyes fixed on the torn figure of Patton, waving happily at the camera, hand linked with Virgil’s.

All three men burst into laughter at Logan’s horror. This was apparently the best amusement they’d found in who knew how long. The anger pulsing through Logan’s veins seemed to grow even larger and brighter as he processed that, tormenting him and ruining his photo was nothing more than a momentary game to them. His pulse pounded in his ears and his face flushed, hands clenching into fists as he continued staring down at the ruined picture. Finally Glasses stopped sniggering and gave Logan another shove, hard enough that the teenager fell back into the wall.

“There, now your family’s where it belongs, in the gutter, jus’ like you!” 

Logan snapped.

***

The police officer was calm and understanding, even as Thomas found himself stumbling over his words, voice cracking as he poured out his worries to the soothing voice on the other end of the phone. Half way through he felt Patton grab his hand and he gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Finally he hung up the phone and the heavy silence fell between them. Thomas was an actor by trade, he was usually so good at managing to put on a façade of being confident and cheerful, but right now all of that felt impossible. He was doing his best to hold it together, but the fear was like a snake of poison ivy, reaching up around his throat and throttling him.

“What did they say dad?”

“Well,” Thomas turned and gave Patton the best smile he could mange right now. “They’re going to have all the officers watch out for him, and they’ll send someone over in the morning if he hasn’t turned up by then.”

“In the morning? Why not now?”

“Well…they said Logan _is_ a teenager, it’s to be expected he might sneak out at night…so they said it’s possible that that’s all that has happened.”

Patton shook his head immediately, dismissing the idea.

“Not Logan. He’s far too sensible, he’d never just run off to, to a party or something. They don’t even know what he’s like, how can they judge him like that!” He sounded indignant, how dare these police officers assume they knew Logan and what he would do better than his own family! Logan was the smart one, the one who thought things through and always did the correct thing. Logan was always responsible and correct, always there whenever Patton needed him, always there when anyone needed him.

Patton sniffed, feeling tears pricking at his eyes. This wasn’t fair, had he done something wrong? He must have done something wrong to have made Logan run away. Logan’s job was to keep everyone healthy and safe, Patton’s job was to keep everyone happy. Logan was the one who reminded them to brush teeth and stopped Roman working too late in the night, who listened to Virgil when he had nightmares and helped Patton think things through logically when he got tangled up in his thoughts. Patton was the one who was supposed to notice when his family was hurting and help them feel better! He was the one who brought hot chocolate and smiles when people were hurting, who could comfort and reassure and help! How had he failed so badly, how had he not even noticed Logan was hurting this much?

Suddenly Patton felt arms around him as his dad wrapped him in a tight embrace. Patton turned towards him, letting the tears flow out, not caring that he was soaking Thomas’ jumper with salty tears as he took in the comfort.

“It’s alright Patton Cake…”

“I want Logan back…”

“I know son, I know. He’ll come back, I promise. He’ll be okay.”

“Why did he go? Was he really that sad? What did we do wrong?” Patton asked dismally.

“I don’t know.” Thomas replied, shifting so he was sitting next to Patton, still holding the teenager and rubbing his back comfortingly. “Maybe he felt a bit left out? He has been growing up recently, and not spending as much time with us anymore.”

“When he comes back I’m going to make sure he comes to every single movie night, and we go out together every weekend, and I do my homework right next to him. If being left out was the problem, I’ll make sure he’s _never_ alone again!” Patton said determinedly.

“Maybe not that far, but we’ll let him know how good he is and how much we love him and need him, okay?”

“Okay…”

***

At the top of the stairs Roman and Remus exchanged a look. Sound travelled quite well in this house, especially if the kitchen door was open and you were crouching very quietly in the hallway, straining your ears to find out what was going on. Remus always wanted to know what was going on with everyone else and he was very good at pulling his twin along into his schemes. But neither of them had expected to discover this particular outcome of their eavesdropping.

Roman bit his lip and began quietly crawling backwards, sneaking back into their shared room as quietly as he’d left it half an hour earlier. Their room was a mess as always, Remus claimed he was allergic to the very idea of tidying and Roman always got distracted when trying to clean up, finding old books and props and getting re-interested in all sorts of things. He stood up now, avoiding the spilled pencils and crayons across the carpet and ignoring the scattering of costumes, toys, horror movie posters, Remus’ life size zombie mannequin he was building and the extensive Disney DVD collection.

Sitting on the lower bunk bed and feeling the mattress dip as his twin sat next to him Roman pulled his knees up to his chest and tried to sort out his own feelings.

“Ro?”

“Yeah, Ree?”

“What happened to Logan?”

“I don’t know…dad said he ran away…was he upset with us?”

“Um…” Remus bit his lip and shook his head. “Logan’s never upset. He always says…he always says it’s not logical to get upset over things, an’ that he won’t let emotion rule his life.”

“Which is silly, emotion is important, you can’t just live logically…”

“Yeah, that’s what dad and Patton always say, but Logan wants to be logical, what’s logical about running away?”

“I don’t know. It would be logical to run away if-if he was really unhappy here? If it would be better for him not to be here?”

“Was he really unhappy? Did we make him that unhappy?”

“Ree, Logan always tells us how much he loves us and how important we are to him. He’s always been there.”

“But do we tell him that back enough?” Remus said bluntly. He was always told he lacked tact, that he’d just blurt out the truth without thinking. It usually got him into trouble, but at least it meant that things got out into the open.

“What?”

“I mean, maybe Logan doesn’t think we love him as much as he loves us!”

“That’s silly! We could never stop loving him, he’s our brother!”

“I know…but we haven’t played with him in ages, and we spilled water over his certificate last week, you know the one he was super proud of-“

“That was an accident!”

“Yeah, but we still did it. And we always tease him and never let him pick the movie and stuff. So maybe he thinks we don’t love him back.”

“That’s awful…” Roman said, voice wobbling a bit. “I love Logan. I don’t want him to think I hate him…I want him to come back so I can tell him how much I love him over and over so he never leaves again.”

“Me too…” Remus sniffed, scrubbing at his eyes. “I didn’t mean to be a bad brother. What if he doesn’t ever come back though? What if he dies out there thinking we hate him?”

“No! Shut up Ree! He’ll come back, he has to come back! Dad said the police were looking for him! And we can look too! Tomorrow we’ll skip school and go and find him, like a real prince!” Roman sat up straighter, brightening a bit now he had a plan. “We’ll pretend we’re going to school, but then we’ll sneak off before we go in the gates, and we can search for him ourselves, tell him how sorry we rae and how much we love him and then he has to come home!”

“Yeah! And we know all the places he’ll go as well! The library, the bookshop, the star gazing hill…”

“Perfect! It’s the perfect plan! What could go wrong?”

A sudden creak at the door made them both look over, to the sight of a pyjama clad Virgil staring at them in open horror.

“Virge? What are you doing awake?”

“What do you mean, Logan’s run away?”


End file.
